How you can redefine the concept of beauty?
How do YOU define BEAUTY?
Every day, millions of dollars are being poured into shaping our perception and creating an image of beauty. That image has nothing to do with beauty per se, but it shapes how and what we perceive as beauty. It makes us think that if we attain that ideal, we’ll be desirable, happy, fulfilled and doors will open for us.
But this is not true at all. In the era of social media, this image of beauty is ever-present, which results in overwhelming rates of anxiety, depression and all sorts of suppression. There is so much information out there, so many “right” ways, that there is almost no room left for simple questions like:
- “What does actually work for me?”
- “What would I like to look like?”
- “What would I like to be?”
Have you noticed that beauty oftentimes has nothing to do with looks? If you haven’t, look harder.
You probably don’t know this, but I worked in a modeling industry for a couple of years. It was a short-lived reality, but I already created it when I was a very small child – often bullied, laughed at and overall unacknowledged.
One time I came home crying (to be honest, there were many times like that), but this time, in particular, an older man verbally assaulted me in public while I was walking on the street in my hometown with a relative of mine.
Out fo the blue, he started pointing fingers and shouting at me, saying to my relative, “send this girl from where you got her, send her back to Africa.” It was not very different from previous silent and not so silent assaults, but this time something broke inside of me. Tears began flowing down my cheeks and my relative took me to her home after scolding the man.
Out of nowhere she pulled out a copy of Vogue magazine and rumbled through the pages until she found the picture she was looking for. “Hey, I want you to look at this picture for a moment.” With eyes still hazy from tears I looked down and saw a beautiful woman, with skin the color as mine. I was mesmerized and immediately stopped crying.
“Does this girl look beautiful to you?” she asked me. I nodded.
Well, when you grow up you can be just like her” she replied. Just like that, this moment instantly pulled me out of trauma and into the creation of something that later on in life proceeded to give me more of me, especially after I finished with my modeling days.
The truth is, we have more power than we can ever comprehend with our small minds. We are capable of creating anything and everything we desire.
But in the process of creation, we will encounter some bumps on the road – they’re there because of the decisions we will have to take in the course of life.
The beauty of it all is the fact that everything you can create you can also uncreate or shape into something different. After all, you are a grand and glorious creator.
The catch is to acknowledge and observe how all those creations served you until now and let them go once you know something else is possible and available for you.
The life itself resembles a river that flows, changes and shapes itself in all sorts of beautiful whirls and currents. What beauty means for you, might not be the same for me. So what if instead of having one “ideal” definition, we can have many? What if we allowed ourselves to design our lives differently, uniquely and be an inspiration for others to create and choose their own reality as well?
The moment I saw that picture in Vogue magazine I made a decision in my mind on which I began creating my life. I decided that if I want to be happy, I have to fit a certain type of beauty ideal in order to become a model and prove I am doing it “right”.
As years passed by, I also made a decision to become an athlete which thankfully gave me a very different foundation for accepting and communicating with my body. Instead of looks, I focused on strength, agility, flexibility, endurance, and change.
I learned to test and push my body beyond the limitations that were presented on the road. My growing strength and later results didn’t depend on how my body looked like. Gaining that particular knowledge gave me more control and a different perception of my choices that later helped me understand how to achieve better results.
Our path is not defined by a single choice but created with a series of small ones we make through time. When I started pursuing my modeling career, everything I knew got turned upside down. When I was an athlete, I knew what I trained for and then got a specific result in turn. In the modeling world, however, everything was dictated by this unattainable ideal of what I’m supposed to look like based on the beauty perception of someone I haven’t even met. And that began to shape my life.
I was lost in an endless loop of waiting to be chosen, trying to mold myself into a specific image that promised success, but it was never enough. It’s interesting to meet some of the most physically beautiful human beings who think they are anything but that.
That’s why we need to give ourself a reality-check with a couple of important questions:
- What is beauty for me?
- Is a certain type of body a definition of beauty for me?
- Is a pretty face a definition of beauty for me?
- Is a brilliant mind a definition of beauty for me?
- What if none of that is beauty for me?
Change, growth and everything in between begins with a question, followed by more questions. The more you ask the more generative energy of your undefinable knowing you will perceive and birth into existence.
What do you know about beauty that you haven’t allowed yourself to immerse into?
What if precisely what you know is a catalyst for a different reality where each individual can start embracing themselves based on what they are and not how they look?
Are you willing to be that kind of inspiration & invitation to a different reality?